Sampled in Words

It wouldn’t have mattered if you didn’t care. It would’ve done me a great deal of good if you didn’t since it means you don’t notice me. Not that noticing someone is a bad thing, of course it’s not. But given that at one time you did notice me, you’ll start noticing more of what I’m not ready to let you see and in turn, I’ll start noticing you catching my lingering stares and it would really creep me out if you would return those stares to me. And when we do exchange stares, that’s the moment when you start to tame me.

I’ll wait for you each day even if it costs me more time than necessary because that is the entrance of the cycle we’re going to begin. That is, with you being the little prince who tamed me and me being the fox [or wolf for this matter] who wanted to be tamed. Perhaps each day the stare down would stop as sure as the stars would shine in the distance. At the death of the stare down, that’s when we would talk because that’d be the time I’ll be comfortable enough to strike the careful balance with enough precision that would shame a laser printer. Maybe the conversation will go fine and perhaps at the end of the day when I wait for you, we’ll share laughter more precious than my extra pillow or my fix of milk tea in the morning. Maybe I’ll choose you over those trivial things when the taming process is over.

Maybe.

But once you tame me, as the fox said, I will miss you. I will count off the hours practicing what might be until the time we meet again. And if I should miss you at the designated time of day that I waited for, it would greatly sadden me because a time that we could’ve spent together could not be returned again. The moment I have spent rehearsing would have been for nothing. The waiting would have been for nothing. And it’ll tire me should I miss you again a second time. I will worry greatly and I will be distressed in a similar fashion. On a third time, I will start giving up hope. Come the fourth, I will miss you greatly but by that time, I would have said goodbye.

That’s why it would have been better if you didn’t notice me because it would not burden you with the responsibility of taming me. It will not burden you with the thought that I must be somewhere, waiting for you, worrying about you, wondering where you are. But I guess no one can ever stop the inevitable. And without any restraints or push from anyone, the taming would’ve started anyway.

It must be starting now.

And I miss you, dearly, almost like my sleep depended on it. Here, hold it, my longing to be with you again. Come and watch the moon with me.

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About kyogakura
Bored 95% of the time.

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