The Tower

Indifference Now

Looking at my posts over a year ago made me somewhat cringe. I think posts from long ago tend to cause the same effect at any given time. Probably, it has something to do with the difference in our states at that time compared to the present. I can’t be entirely sure. We live for the uncertainty after all.

So, I looked back and cringed. I cringed at my sullen tones and failure in apathy. I cringed at the faux pas it might have caused me in my current circle of priorities. I might have cringed at the very first title I gave my very first post in here. But besides all those cringing, I can’t deny the fact that looking at the then and the now, I can say that I have changed (though probably in the slightest).

Whereas before I would be meandering about a sordid tale of who’s this andwhat’s that revolving on angst and quite possibly heartbreak, right now, I would rather grab a cup of coffee and try to calm down. Not that it ever was an effective practice but at least the coffee helped me stay awake.

But anyway, I’m writing this just because I had the itch to key in a few rough sentences. So what should I bore the world with now, I wonder…

  • Well, I’m enrolled for the 2nd term of our academic year. For those who responded to my post (see: Yeh), I’m actually glad that people gave their thoughts on the matter. I didn’t give up my course…yet. I probably wouldn’t…as of now. I only have a year to go (at the very least) until I get to hold that much coveted diploma.
  • I’m trying to be a responsible student. Looks like I’ll have to try again.
  • I’m hoping for a good summer come April next year. I’m from the Philippines so yeah, our summers are from March-May or April-May…I didn’t really get the distinction.
  • I’m a snoopy person I guess, but only towards the people who’re significantly close to me. I need to change this soon.
  • I get bored easily but I have an almost endless tolerance for perpetually late people. From where I went to get secondary education, there are only two types of students enrolled: the faction that waits and the faction that always needs to be waited for. I’m from the former part so I guess I’m a little less than punctual but punctual nonetheless. And no, late people don’t piss me off anymore unless they’re late for something really important or unless it involves personal safety issues. Hello wasted time tolerance issues.
  • Funny how these things always seem to run around academic pursuits, affection (mutual or otherwise) and just about everything else…in that precise order.
  • It does seem like when we’re relatively younger than we are presently, all the things that mattered before all seem so trivial when we spare a thought or two about it. For example, I used to look forward to a Friday evening in front of the TV and hoping to practically lose myself in a Pokemon episode or two but now, I’m always ALWAYS spending my Friday nights either in front of the PC or someplace else. Probably an hour or two away from home (which means 17-20Km away…the traffic is bad around here). to put it in a cheesier light, a few months ago, I would go about my day looking forward to spending a few minutes with that special someone albeit that few minutes turning to hours since that special someone is always ALWAYS late. In contrast to the present, I’d go about my day not really looking forward to anything at the end of it. Except on weekends, of course, since I do have something to look forward to on those days.
  • I’m counting the days to the glorious party week at the university. Party week’s a term I like to use on the full week before the university lantern parade. This is a, well, week of parties spent with classmates, friends and the faculty of our unit. The end of this would ultimately be the lantern parade at another university campus a few short hours away from ours. I wouldn’t miss it for anything (except Hugh Jackman or Alan Rickman but it’s not like that’s going to happen anyway).
  • I’ve been wondering what I saw in you that day. You were an insignificant existence; probably as insignificant as I was to you. I would see you of course, just because the proximity allows for it but beyond that, what did I see in you? And when I saw you, what is it that you have seen in me that we wound up being where we are now? I never kept connections long since I have this way of being left or ultimately the one leaving. It’s just the way things went and I accepted it as that. Of course, I had my doubts at the first few runs. I’ll probably tire of it soon and so will you. I counted on it being you but no, I have been proven wrong. So why did I stay? There was something about the tie you wore that day. And the shirt you wore underneath. Probably the pants as well and that smelly red baseball cap you lost a week after. They all seemed to make sense at the time. A few days after, it must have been you laugh which was never divine but a contender for empty soup cans. Weeks after, it was your hands which are eternally filthy. They’re about the same size a mine but they were stumpy whereas mine remained like that of a girl’s hand. And when they wound up together, it looked stupid, perfectly stupid. Months later, it was our similarities which has somehow unfurled during the course of that odd attraction. Only then did it surface and it was already preceded by some other activities. Years (perhaps) have passed and still it remains. You are still the one I’m looking forward to at the end of the day…however long that takes.
  • And prolly, bipolarity is a trend these days. Can anyone give me a solid advice on how to be insensitive? Or something to get by the December blues. I never liked this month…no. Never liked it at all.
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About kyogakura
Bored 95% of the time.

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