The Face Behind the Blinking Ref Bulb

The title of this post is pronounced like so: lie-see-ree-uh (with a twang at the end).

The previous post (Mortianna) is pronounced like this: more-tea-ah-nuh (also with a twang at the end).

I don’t know why I’m actually putting up a pronunciation guide for the titles in my post where I could choose not to name any of them. But anyway, that’s irrelevant to what I have to say so I’ll just nip it right here.

In light of my previous posts, I guess I’m coming off as a not very cheerful person. Well, that’s news to me, really. If I’m anything, I’m ecstatic most of the time…and angry. Seldom do I show my depression to people. It just so happens that this cyber journal (blog) is my way of dealing with pent up melancholy. I’m not really a sad person. Maybe there’s something about the way my face is made up that I’m mistaken for a guy, lesbian, girl, gay, serious person, sad person, and someone who actually knows something relevant. Well, let’s just say I’m all those things and then some…when the time calls for it.

Anyway, I’m on one of my melancholy awareness moments so here goes:

I’m missing you, terribly, these past few days.

The feel of your hand and your fingers laced with mine and the nights I spent emulating the feeling are the best and worst I ever lived.

I wonder how warm you are right now.

Could you spare a moment more to be with me?

I haven’t all the words to say nor do I have the courage to say them if I had the grasp of them. I begrudgingly grind my teeth and swallow my tongue every time I try to say these to you; perhaps, for fear of ridicule and ultimately, of rejection. And no measure of loathe for my incapacity to express would measure up to my hate of the gray button beside your name. You’ve signed out for the day again leaving me with words tasting of regret.

Tomorrow, maybe, I’ll let you know.


About kyogakura
Bored 95% of the time.

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