Body Aches Among Other Things

I’m two decades old.

I’m fairly young at the moment. I have things to do and stuff to dream about. I have the license to rebel and be idealistic. I have the right to be anything but decisive and determined. I’m the microcosm of the universe and the cosmic energies are being wasted on me. I’m two decades old and all I can be is hidden within the folds of my dirty closet.

I don’t understand why people need to conform to a certain set of unwritten laws. On moments when I get reprimanded (or just essentially get eyebrows raised at me), a gnawing feeling underneath my skull keeps on nudging me to just flip a table and get on with my life. Yet here I am, gnashing my keys and my brain for a few drippings of verbal abuse. I’m guessing this is under another set of unwritten universal laws.

But if it’s not, then it’s an all new game for me.

I hate it when people feel the need to make me conform to their ideals. I’m a different set of tetris blocks when I was born but I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling like the minority in this world. I won’t apologize for not being a part of the fussing majority. For all I know, getting rejected everyfuckingday for being who I am is better than compromising myself for the rest of my life.

But hey, I’m a stickler for rules.

It’s all the misery I ever wanted and more.

I always get this empty feeling whenever I finish all the unlockables in a game I’m playing. It’s like the feeling I get whenever I finish reading a book. It’s a tragically happy feeling – seeing something unfold before your eyes and seeing it grow into you when suddenly, without notice or regret, it’s over. All the things you have experienced are all just a part of a memory and you don’t even have pictures to prove it.

And somehow, you get emptier when you realize that everything just happened in your head.

I hate it when the wrapping paper/foil is still stuck on the chocolate that I’m eating.

It’s f’n annoying.

On a more substantial train of thought, I realized that I’m having less and less of it.


About kyogakura
Bored 95% of the time.

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