A Shot in a Year

How many times have I started a sentiment with a line like, it’s been a year? It’s been a year of what exactly? Has it been a year of neglect and a dash of passive melancholy? Has it been a year of fun-filled activities, games and surprises?  For those times that I have used that same old statement, I can’t remember now what kind of year they were.

For now, it’s been a year.

I feel like it’s been a year since I wrote anything that required deep thought and some constipation. I don’t have enough of the feelings I has before and I no longer felt required to grace this space my presence. Not that I don’t like it here; this place has been the friend that heard all my sorrows. However, now that I don’t have an emotional baggage the size of Saturn, I don’t see the point of sitting here and writing about how my dog rolled over.

But I guess it’s been a year.

It’s been a year since the event that ended my time here. It wasn’t an easy transition but it was the easiest decision I ever had to make. I guess it’s the choice between letting yourself be happy against letting yourself be trampled on and on for all eternity. Between those two, there is the biggest choice I had to make.

It’s like the culmination of all the decisions I made in life.

If I hadn’t scraped my knee or if I hadn’t broken a bone, will life take me where I am now? If I went to that school and resigned myself to something that I could settle for but not what I wanted, would it feel as right as it does now? For all those twists and turns, there were always the existing possibilities that nothing could have happened and we’d all be miserable. It’s a compounded chance and here I am, enjoying what could be a 0.01% shot at happy.

It’s been a year since I have come to experience you. A year that I have loved and been loved in return. Would life have gone a different turn, I’m sure I’ll still end up here writing this a year hence. It’s not impossible because probably, anywhere I may be, I will find you. Just as a weary traveller journeys towards home, I will be with you. Because you were my shot at happiness and I can’t let you slip by in a million lifetimes.

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About kyogakura
Bored 95% of the time.

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