Ikanai de Ikanai de

Kotonoha4

Me, unable to reach the dreams I keep on chasing after, 
and you, crouching down under the great weight of every passing day;
through the same loneliness, we connected. I’ve never forgotten a thing.

I wonder if it will clear. My heart is once again under the crying sky. 
I am here because you were there in my life. 
Oh, I call out, even if you can’t hear it anymore.

Kotonoha – Kotonoha no Niwa

Uniform

petron yeh

This be Batch 23

You’re Beautiful.

It’s in the rare opportunities that these things come up; that although scarred and wanting we find ways to redeem ourselves. These accidental things that remain a mystery are all that we had to hold on to. You seized your opportunities whether they presented themselves or not. For this, you’re becoming more and more of what I never actually hoped for. 

You met me at a very strange time in my life.

Shelves

It’s my shelf. I thought I should glorify it.

LEGEND (top; left to right):

  • Darren Shan Saga (Darren Shan)
  • His Dark Materials (Philip Pullman)
  • Greek Mythology
  • Black Dahlia
  • Neil Gaiman Books
  • Incarnations of Immortality (Piers Anthony)
  • Septimus Heap (Angie Sage)
  • Artemis Fowl (Eoin Colfer)
  • (Back) Classics, Shannara (T Brooks), Marcus Sedgewick books, Ender and Shadow Saga (OS Card), Dune (F Herbert), Alvin Maker (OS Card), NegiMa!?)

(Middle; left to right)

  • Harry Potter (JK Rowling)
  • Hunger Games (Suzanne Collins)
  • A Song of Ice and Fire (GRR Martin)
  • Inheritance Saga (Christopher Paolini)
  • (midback) Sidney Sheldon, Vampire Chronicles
  • (back) Stephen King, The Legend of Drizzt (RA Salvatore), Brothers Grimm, The Hobbit (JRR Tolkien)

(Bottom; left to right)

  • Kikomachine (Manix Abrera)
  • Pugad Baboy (PM jr.)
  • Bob Ong books
  • Martial Law Babies (Arnold Arre)
  • Discworld books (Terry Pratchett)

To The Summer I Thought I Lost

Our last summer

Realidad

“The things I had to tell her,
the things I hoped she would listen to,
there were so many of them…”

Tohno Takaki – Byousoku 5 cm/s

Stuff Lying Around

After all that thinking I did for lack of nothing to do, I came up with only a phrase during a lonely card game session against myself: I’m torn.

Of course, this does not imply anything like from that song where the persona got really torn (physically and emotionally), but I’m just saying that maybe I’m mentally or emotionally torn. I don’t really know which one weighs more in this matter and I’m about to explain why.

As I was playing this card game (Magic: The Gathering), against myself (ultimate loser mode), I was suddenly smiling while I killed this elf creature from the battlefield. It wasn’t a sad smile or anything nor was it a happy one. It was a smile of someone who enjoys destroying that creature.

(Before anything, I’m speaking from an imaginative Magic player’s point of view. So just so you’re not left out while I unfold my story before your eyes, turn on your imagination. Devise an empty field so vast that it could probably be the size a city. On either end of that field, there are two wizards glaring at each other from under the brim of their chosen head ornaments. Each one wields a power so immense that they could walk every plane of existence known to the whole multiverse. And each one of them is out to battle the other, perhaps to prove their worth or perhaps to accomplish an unknown end.)

Now that the visualization’s done, let’s get on with my epic battle against myself. I was using two decks. One was green and the other was black. Green’s the color of growth and usually favors creatures over any other means of victory. This color basks in the presence of life. Black is the color of malice and treachery. This color enjoys destruction and while it does use creatures, its creatures are devoid of life. These two colors are enemy colors (seriously, they are) and they contain spells that could cancel the other.

So I played this elf and it was about to attack the other me…and I killed it. With a smile.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t usually like killing creatures, especially creatures from my favorite fantasy race but at that moment, there was the satisfaction that I killed the annoying critter.

And now I’m torn.

I’m one of those people who like and find peace in balancing some aspects in our lives. If you don’t get my meaning, I’m from one of the twelve signs that Justice conned to be its poster boy. But I digress. I find peace when everything’s in equal amounts. Too much of something and I flip. But don’t take this as something extreme, it’s just my way of putting things in very small words and lines that can be conveyed easily.

Perhaps my enjoyment at the death of that green critter just showed the other side of the coin. On one side, I enjoyed life and its wonders but to balance that out, I had to enjoy its death as well.

And here are cards that could best explain what lies inside me right now (courtesy of gatherer.wizards.com):

Guess which one i’m feeling like right now?

-|X|-

It’s raining again. And it’s raining hard. I can’t even hear my thoughts much less the television. And this is one of the things I hate when it’s my alone time.

I don’t go all emotional when there’s rain. Weirdly, I get into that mood when it’s dusk and the sky’s clear. But that’s beside the point. I hate the rain. For one, it makes everything wet and icky. This is my opinion and if you have a different view I don’t aim to challenge that. Another thing that I hate about it is that it’s noisy. I can’t hear myself think. I can’t even enjoy a good conversation when it rains because voices become louder just to overcome all the noise. Lastly, the rain makes my head ache.

I don’t enjoy it when it floods the metro. I don’t enjoy it even if it doesn’t flood the metro. It makes mornings colder and wetter and it makes it hard to do anything. I don’t appreciate it that much in summer because it leaves that weird smell. And usually, summer rain only leaves things humid and hot.

I hate the rain because it comes in the most inconvenient times (as for what those times are, I’ll let you wonder).

I hate the rain but it comes again and again. I put on a smile and say hello.

-|X|-

And since I’m on a roll about one of my hobbies, this picture speaks of it very clearly. As an added bonus, this picture rolled three hobbies of mine in one fell swoop. These are all the things that I immensely enjoy doing (or immensely enjoy watching). And these are the hobbies I currently am doing.

And with this, my post ends.

Hope the rain does too.